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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
(Neo-Pagan-style)

Alexandrian/Gardnerian:
To reveal this would be to break my oath of secrecy.
I can say, though, that it *really* is an ancient rite, dating  far back in time, back even before 1951, and I have learned it from an unbroken lineage. As Gerald said, it takes a chicken to make an egg.

Asatru:
First, we don't believe in a "One Chicken" or a "Hen and Rooster." We believe in many chickens. Second,
"crossing the road" is part of the three levels, or worlds, and the chicken simply crossed from one level to another. Hail to the Chickens!

British Traditional:
The word "chicken" comes from a very specific
Old English word ("gechekken"), and it only properly applies to certain fowl of East Anglia or those descended therefrom. As for the rest, I suppose they are doing something remotely similar to crossing the road, but you must remember that traditional roads are not to be confused with the modern roads....

Celtic:
In County Feedbeygohn on Midsummer's day, there is still practiced St. Henny's Dance, which is a survival
of the old pagan Chicken Crossing fertility rite. Today,
modern pagans are reviving the practice, dedicated to the Hen and the Green Rooster.

Ceremonial:
"Crossing the road" is a phrase that summarizes
many magical structures erected and timed by the chicken to produce the energy necessary for the intention of the travelacross the road. For example, the astrological correspondences had to be correct, the moon had to be waxing (if the chicken intended to come to the other side of the road) or waning (if the chicken intended to flee to the other side of the road), and the chicken had toprepare herself through fasting and proper incantations. Note: certain forms of invocation (summoning an egg *inside* your chicken self) can produce abnormal or even dangerous eggs and should only be conducted inside a properly erected barnyard. ...

Chaos:
Thinking in terms of "roads" and "crossings" is
simply looking at the formal, typically perceived structure of chicken crossing space-time. We, instead, focus on the possibility of chicken crossing itself; what appears to be a random act is thus actually the norm — it is the **road** which is the freak of chance.  Indeed, quantum mechanics now demonstrates what we knew all along: two roads can simultaneously exist in the same place at the same time. Thus, by attuning ourselves tothe dynamic energy (called "crossing"), we can manifest theroad. Of course, to the unknowledgeable, this appears as a chicken crossing the road.

Dianic:
The chykyn ("chicken" is a term of patriarchal oppression) sought to reclaim for herself the right to be on the other side of the road, after it had been denied to her for centuries. By doing so, she reawakened the power of the Hen within herself.

Discordian:
cock-a-doodle-doo !

Druid:
To get to the sacred grove, of course! Keep in mind that  99% of everything written about chickens-crossing-the-road is pure hogwash, based on biased sources. Yes, there were a few unfortunate chicken sacrifices in the past, but that is over now...

Eclectic:
Because it seemed right to her at the time. She used some Egyptian style corn and a Celtic sounding word
for the road and incorporated some Native American elements into her Corn-name,
Chicken-Who-Dances-and-Runs-with-the-Wolves.

Faery:
In twilight times and under sparkling stars, those
properly trained can still see the chickens crossing the
roads. Reconnecting with these "fey-fowl" as they cross is crucial to restoring the balance between the energies of modern development and living with the earth.

Family Traditional:
Growing up, we didn't think much about "crossing the road." A chicken was a chicken. It crossed the road
because that was what worked to get her to the other side. We focused on what worked, and we worked more with the elders of the barnyard and less with all this "guardians of the chickencoop" business. We didn't get our concepts of "chickens" or "the other side" from Gardner, either. You can choose not to believe us since we did not "scratch down" on
paper what was clucked to us orally (which, at certain times in history, was the only way to avoid becoming Easter chicken soup!), but that  doesn't change the facts: there *were* real chickens, and they  *really did* cross the road!

Kitchen Witch:
The chicken crossed the road to get food, to get a
rooster or to get away from me after I decided to have
chicken for supper!

Left Hand Path:
White, fluffy chickens prancing across the road! Do you think that is *all* there is to crossing the road? Do you *dare* to know the dark side of crossing the road and the *other* path to self-development?

New Age:
The chicken crossed the road because she chose this as one of her lessons to learn in this life. Besides, there
was so much incense and bright, white corn to explore on the Other Side.

Newbie:
well, 'cause I read in this really kewl book that said, like,
chickens are supposed to cross the road, right?

Posting on an Online Discussion Group:
What do you mean <<why did the chicken cross the
road?>> ???!!!??? Haven't you read **any** of the previous posts? We've been [expletive deleted] debating every word of that question, painstakingly trying to come to some kind of answer. I know you wrote <<all i wnted to know was why chickens cross the road, im not looking for any chicken
spells>> but I'm fed up with newbies who can't even bother to REEEEEEEEAAADDD the posts on that very topic! No, this is *not* a flame. But, I and several others herehave the *maturity* to properly explore and respond to this question,  and we were properly trained; we *didn't* just read a book and think we were full-fledged chickens. <whew, feeling much better after ranting>

Solitaire:
The chicken didn't want to be part of a coven or an oven.

Shaman:
Crossing the road is a way to reconnect with the healing, visionary lifeways of the past. Chickens have
long known this, but increasingly the Rooster's Movement is adding more roosters to the crossings too.

Snert:
Hey, are you guys really chickens? Can you give me a spell that will make a chicken cross the road?

Wiccan:
The chicken crossed the road because she felt like she was finally "coming home." She could do it alone or
with others, but she had to call to the Guardians of the
Watchtowers of the Barnyard first ... uhm, after casting t

 

How Some Pagan Authors Might Respond

Thank you,

GrotonWitch's Grimoir