Osama bin Laden Jokes, Pictures
and Banners
Page 3
Bring Down America! When pigs fly!
Oink if you like foreign policy!
An Israeli friend recently informed me that the UK fought the Islamic terrorist attacks by
burying the criminals with a pig. Apparently the Islamic belief is that if ones' body is
buried with a pig (because they are considered unclean) their soul will go to hell. I did
a little research into this subject matter and found it to be true. This got me thinking.
If we put a baby pig on every airline flight then all suicide terrorists would abort their
missions as they would not want their souls to go to hell.
Additionally, if we drop shipped, oh say, 100,000 pigs into Afghanistan I think our recon
and assault efforts may be more successful. Apparently Muslims dislike the very site of
pigs A LOT!
They are also adamantly opposed to alcohol, thus we spike their water supply with a few
thousand gallons of moonshine, get them shit faced and turn the pigs loose. The war would
be over in a weekend.
Just a thought.
Three guys
Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Laden and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the
Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I
want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye,
'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama Bin Laden was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no
infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of
the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell
me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet
high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or
out---virtually impenetrable."
"Uncle Sam" says, "Fill it with water."
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Bin Laden.... the answer: The problem is, what do you do with him once he's found? Kill him -- he becomes a martyr... Don't kill him -- he's a hero to the extremists... Solution: Capture him alive, convict him of his crimes, sentence him to his punishment. What punishment, you ask? Why, a full blown sex change of course! "And then send him back to his home of Afghanistan to live out the rest of his life as a woman under the Taliban government"... |
"50 Ways to Annoy Osama bin Laden
at a Dinner Party"
American Women...Do Your Part To Help! Stand Up, Be Seen!
We need to get this message out. Please forward, America needs your help!
The President has asked that we unite for a common cause. Since the hard line Islamic
people cannot stand nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their
wife, tonight at 7:00 pm, all women should run out of their house naked to help weed out
the terrorists.
The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you.
God bless America.
Signed,
William Jefferson Clinton
If I Were President George W. Bush's Speech Writer
"American Holiday"
Osama bin Laden, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality,
goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death.
Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future, she
finds the answer. "You will die on an American holiday."
"Which one?" Osama bin Laden asks nervously.
"It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it will be
an American holiday!"
"50 Least-Known Facts About Saddam Hussein"
TOP 11 NAMES FOR U.S. RETALIATION against Osama bin Laden
11. Operation: Yo Mama Bin Laden
10. Operation: Desert Turd
9. Operation: Afghani-Slam Fest 2001
8. Operation: Toli-Bomb
7. Operation: I-C-B-Enema
6. Operation: The Shiite Hits The Fan
5. Operation: Kiss Your Ass-Ghanistan Good Bye
4. Operation: F.U.B.A.R.
3. Operation: ...And The Camel You Rode In On.
2. Operation: Red, White & Ka-blewey!
1. Operation: Osama Bend-Over
0.5 Operation In your pants you'll be pishoddin', bin laden
The "Real Deal"
about terrorist attacks!
(Worth reading! ed.)
QUOTE FROM THE PRESIDENT: When asked what is taking so long.
"When I take action I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a
$10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt."
-President of the United States, George W. Bush.
Bush approval at all time low among terrorists
BAGHDAD, IRAQ -- President Bush’s approval rating among terrorists has sunk to eight percent, making him the least popular American president among terrorists ever. According to Gallup, which conducted the poll last week among 878 individuals known to be linked to established terrorist groups, more than 90 percent of those surveyed gave Bush a rating of either “disapprove” or “strongly disapprove.” Accounting for those writing in ratings such as “infidel” or “devil,” Bush’s approval drops another two to three points.
To be sung to the tune of "Day-O (The Banana Boat Song)"
Day-O...oh Day-O,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Run Mr Taliban, we know where you're hiding,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Hey USA, USA, USA...
Air force come and they flatten you home
60ft, 70ft, 80ft craters,
Air force come and they flatten your home
Old Uncle Sam's pissed, he ain't no quitter,
Air force come and they flatten your home
When we finish you all be crying,
Air force come and they flatten your home,
Pilot is brother of New York fireman
Air force come and they flatten your home
Another very funny site!