Osama bin Laden Jokes, Pictures and Banners

American Women

         Take all  American women who are within five years of menopause -
train us for a few  weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas
masks, moisturizer  with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us  (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do  what comes naturally.

        Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when  doing standard
stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable  enough to make
even armed men in turbans tremble. We've had our  children, we would gladly
suffer or die to protect them and their future.  We'd like to get away from
our husbands, if they haven't left already. And  for those of us who are
single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom  to share life is about
as likely as being struck by lightning. We have  nothing to lose.

        We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the  carbohydrate
diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never
lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of
Afghanistan with no food at all!

        We've spent years tracking down  our husbands or lovers in bars,
hardware stores, or sporting events...finding  bin Laden in some cave will
be no problem.

        Uniting all the warring  tribes of Afghanistan in a new government?
Oh, please ... we've planned the  seating arrangements for in-laws and
extended families at Thanksgiving  dinners for years.....we understand
tribal warfare.

        Between us, we've  divorced enough husbands to know every trick
there is for how they hide,  launder, or cover up bank accounts and money
sources.  We know how to find  that money and we know how to seize
it.....with or without the government's  help!

        Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror
as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken  terrain!

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